Reasons
by Joking611
Summary: Liara w/ FemShep (unseen) one shot early to mid ME2 (post LotSB). Explains why Liara did not accompany Shepard to fight the Collectors. This one is more a "happens to" Liara as opposed to her being the primary actor. Obviously these are not my characters, BioWare and EA own all...


It had been 5 minutes since the decontamination cycle completed.

Still, Liara had not yet reached out to touch the contact panel to open the hatch.

She was caught in rumination. She reflected on her passage across the gangway to the Normandy from her ship (_her ship!_) so recently taken from the Shadow Broker. Defeating the Shadow Broker was the culmination of two years of suffering. Two years since the Normandy was destroyed. Two years since she had compromised her ethics by working with Cerberus. Two years since she'd become someone she despised, a dealer in illicit secrets. Two years since she'd mourned Shepard's death.

That was a lie.

She had never stopped mourning Shepard's death.

"We can see you, you know," Joker's voice broke Liara's reverie. She sighed. Joker's interruptions were almost a tradition. The hatch opened, and Tali stepped out before the Asari could move forward to engage the hatch control.

Liara stepped into the embrace offered by the young Quarian. Liara couldn't see her face, but she could feel waves of affection coming off her friend.

Tali pulled back. "The next time you need to take down the head of the largest information syndicate in the galaxy, leave Garrus out of it," she said only half jokingly.

"I will," she promised. "Events moved rather quickly when Shepard arrived on Illium with the information about Hagalaz."

"Well, let's go in. I'm sure Joker is going crazy pretending that he isn't listening to us out here," Tali said before escorting Liara aboard the Normandy.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Liara followed Tali through the airlock, then continued a pace behind as she turned left into the cockpit instead of right towards the CIC.

Joker spun in his flight couch and let his eyes run up and down the Asari. He then produced a long whistle that Liara had heard from him on other occasions.

"That's quite the dress," he exclaimed, "Are you planning on acting out some scenes from Vaenia with the commander this evening?"

Liara lowered her head as she felt the beginnings of a blush. Being on the Normandy had her slipping into old habits. She was so different now, how could she still be embarrassed by Joker's question? 'I fought at the commander's side for six months culminating with the Battle of the Citadel,' she thought to herself. 'I've ordered people killed, and others to certain death. I've even taken down the Shadow Broker! I'm not the innocent I was, and I never will be again.'

Those thoughts passed in an instant. She snapped her head up and met Joker's eyes with a calm gaze. "Yes," she replied. "Did you want me to ask the commander to video it for you?"

While Joker sputtered through his reply, Tali backed around the corner and called the commander's cabin on her omni-tool. "Shepard?"

"Yes Tali?" came the immediate response, much faster than Tali had anticipated.

"I thought you would like to know that Liara is on board."

"I know Tali," replied Shepard, "You're the fifth person to tell me in as many minutes. Kelly Chambers came up to tell me in person."

Tali glanced around the corner to see the young yeoman stepping off the elevator. She didn't look happy. A quick look in the other direction confirmed that the banter between Liara and Joker continued, with Joker turning a shade of red that Tali had never before seen in the human pilot.

"What are you wearing Shepard?"

"What?"

"What. Are. You. Wearing. Shepard?" Tali repeated.

"My usual shipwear. A science jumpsuit. You know I won't wear anything with that damn Cerberus logo on it."

"You might want to consider putting on a dress Commander."

"Oh? _Oh!_" Shepard took a breath. "I'm guessing that Liara dressed up?"

Tali looked at Liara again.

"I'd say she considers this to be a special occasion."

Tali heard the sounds of sudden motion from her omni-tool. "I'll need a few minutes," Shepard's voice sounded strained, "Have you taken her on a tour of the ship?"

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Tali lead Liara away from the cockpit and a pilot who was practically gasping for air. She took her through the CIC, the engineering deck, and the crew deck. Liara greeted old friends, and introduced herself to the Cerberus crewmembers who seemed open to talking to an "alien". Liara shared a long hug with Dr. Chakwas.

Tali escorted Liara back to the elevator for the trip to the captain's cabin, and found Miranda Lawson waiting outside. The XO's office had most emphatically not been on the tour.

"Doctor T'Soni," Miranda greeted the Asari. "Could I have a moment of your time?"

Liara looked to Tali. Tali couldn't communicate anything with her facial expression, but the Quarian shrugged as if to say "I have no idea."

Liara's gaze returned to Miranda. "Certainly, Miss Lawson."

"Can we continue in my office?"

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

"Please, sit down Doctor," Miranda waved to a seat as she slid into the chair behind her desk.

"I'm fine, thank you." Liara remained only a few steps into the XO's office, while crossing her arms and leaning away from Miranda.

"As you wish, Doctor. We've had a cordial working relationship in the past, and I see no reason why that can't continue. We still share a common interest."

"Human domination of the galaxy?" Liara asked while cocking her head slightly.

"I'm referring to Commander Shepard, as you well know Doctor."

"I don't see how," Liara replied. "I want to help Shepard. You just see her as a weapon, as a means to an end."

"I understand why you would think that Doctor, but that simply isn't true. Do you know why I asked you to keep your distance?"

"Other than to torture me? Of course I do," Liara's eyes narrowed, "I'm a distraction. If I left Illium and joined the Normandy, you can't be sure what might happen if Shepard were ever forced to choose between me and the mission."

"There is that consideration, yes." Miranda slowly stood, and moved over to look out the window of her cabin. "But although that is a reason, it isn't my primary reason."

"I would hope not Miss Lawson. I fought side by side with Shepard through nearly her entire campaign against Saren. She even took me to the Battle of the Citadel."

"No Doctor," Miranda replied, continuing to look out into the Hagalaz storms, "She took you to Ilos, on a mission you were consummately suited for. The fact that the mission would ultimately lead her back to the Citadel, and to a final confrontation not only with Saren, but also Sovereign, was something neither of you anticipated." Miranda paused, "Besides, your relationship hadn't moved to, shall we say, quite so 'intimate' a level until rather late in the operation to defeat Saren."

Miranda turned to face the angry Asari, and raised her hand to restrain the forthcoming response. "I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm also not saying that you didn't conduct yourself well. No video record of the battle exists due to the large amount of damage to the Citadel, but both the Commander's report to the Council and Mr. Vakarian's report to the Turian Primarch were positively glowing in regards to your contribution. Your abilities are not what I'm referring to. The Illusive Man thinks of Shepard as a weapon, yes. A round to be chambered and fired at the enemy that he selects. He does see you as a distraction, and filters all decisions about you through that viewpoint. Certainly you don't believe he told Shepard the location of the Shadow Broker as a gift to you? Shepard had already come and gone from Illium. There was no need to bring the two of you together again before the mission through the Omaga 4 Relay. He needs you engaged in something important enough to you that it would be worth abandoning Shepard for - worth losing Shepard for."

"There is nothing I would consider worth losing Shepard for."

"Of that Doctor, I am completely aware."

Miranda slowly walked back and seated herself at her desk. She looked at Liara over steepled fingers. "I don't see Shepard as a weapon. I worked for two years to bring her back, fought alongside her to build and now to maintain this team. I know more about who she is than she does herself. Probably more than anyone but you."

"The crew has been referring to this undertaking as the "suicide mission" since they learned of our objective. Let me assure you that I have no interest in walking into certain death. If I didn't believe that this team, this leader, could complete this mission, then I wouldn't be here. Do I expect casualties? Certainly. Do I believe that Shepard could sacrifice this crew, herself, even you to complete the mission? I do."

"But that's exactly what I don't want!" Liara jumped at Miranda's unexpected shout.

"Any soldier can die for their cause," Miranda continued, at a volume only slightly under her prior yell. "I need her to live! We need her to live! The Collectors are not our enemy! They're a tool, and a sloppily wielded one at that. The Reapers are our enemy."

Miranda paused, and then continued at something closer to her typically even tone, "It isn't enough that she succeed. She needs to come back. That means she can't lose faith. She can't lose hope. She can't be satisfied with pyrrhic victory. She has to want to return. Has to need to return."

"And that means she has to have something to return to," she finished.

"I see," replied Liara, after a pause, "You expect me to 'keep the home fires burning', so to speak."

"Doctor, I expect you to be who you are to her, no more, no less," Miranda took a deep breath before continuing, "But I want you to consider not asking to accompany her on the mission now, or in the future. This operation is nowhere near complete. We have quite a significant number of objectives to achieve before we launch our strike against the collectors. I'm sure the Normandy will return to Hagalaz more than once before we head through the Omaga 4 Relay."

"And if she asks me to come?"

"I'm not going to tell you what to do. I'm not even going to try to convince you that what I'm asking for is the right thing. I will say that Shepard fights for nothing like she fights for you. I've seen the vids of your missions together. That Commander Shepard didn't join this team until we left Illium with the intent of her going to fight the Shadow Broker. For you."

The two women stared at each other in silence for a few moments before Miranda spoke again.

"You should go. Shepard had a bottle of 47 Thessia red delivered to her cabin a few minutes ago. You won't want it to get warm."

Liara turned to leave, but paused as the hatch opened. "Thank you, Miranda. I shall consider what you've said."

"You're welcome, Liara."

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Liara took a moment to collect herself. The conversation had been an unexpected one, but she had to admit that Miranda made a compelling argument. She wouldn't ask to accompany Shepard through the relay, yet she couldn't guarantee her reply if Shepard asked her to join the team.

It did make sense that she use some time to consolidate the Shadow Broker's resources, and start orienting them towards preparation to fight the Reapers. This was already something that she and Shepard had discussed, so Shepard would not be surprised at this intention.

Depending on how the evening went however, she might have to conceal her conversation with Miranda if she and Shepard ended up in a meld. It was too recent not to stand out in memory. She knew Shepard would trust her, and that she would reveal the memory when the time was right.

Shepard would understand that Liara had her reasons.

Fini

* * *

A/N: Assumptions here include:

FemShep/Liara LI  
Lair of the Shadow Broker was completed relatively early in ME2 for the timetable to make sense


End file.
